amotherfuckingoblin

How rape trials should go?

  • Lawyer: Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes, but she was drunk and passed out.
  • Lawyer: That's not what I asked. Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes, but she was wearin-
  • Lawyer: I didn't ask what she was wearing. Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes, but-
  • Lawyer: I didn't ask anything else. It's just a simple yes or no answer. Did he rape her?
  • Witness: Yes.
  • Laywer: Yes, he raped her.
  • Rape is rape is rape, no matter the context.
rad-dirtbag

Joke of the day.

wanderoar:

roseonabeach:

frostedsammy:

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”

what

Took me about ten minutes to finally understand this

stupidest/most awesome joke ever

problematicwhitegay

miss-lol:

ruiningurtumblogs:

twilektimelord:

fororchestra:

adrianshhh:

image

Sometimes I think of how one tiny mutated cell can wipe out our whole civilization, but then I watch a video like this and think “nah, we’re way too awesome of a species to be defeated.”

I feel like my life is complete after watching this.

HOLY SHITTING CHRIST.HOW DOES HE MANAGE TO KEEP SUCH A GOOD TONE QUALITY. WHAT THE SHIT. I CAN’T. JUST.

Seriously, as somebody who is relatively good at the flute let me tell you that that is really fucking difficult. REALLY FUCKING DIFFICULT. That’s like the flautist’s equivalent of trying to talk normally whilst breathing in: it just isn’t doable. This guy is using some freaky fucking sorcery. As if that weren’t bad enough: HIS FINGERS ON THAT LAST BLOODY SCALE HOLY SHIT. HOW CAN YOU MOVE THAT FAST. I CAN’T EVEN DO F BLOODY MAJOR THAT FAST AND IT’S THE EASIEST BLOODY SCALE WE HAVE HOLY CHRIST.

The Pied Piper of Hamelin 2014